Not sure why you guys put up with me.
You may or may not have noticed that nothing is coming out of the Felicity mill right now. And I do mean nothing. I’ve never experienced a dry spell quite like this one. Or summer depression.
Since I was a kid, summer was MY time. I loved the sunshine, the heat, the humidity, things growing and green. Heavy afternoons that screamed with cicadas until the thunderstorms swelled and exploded. Then fresh, clean dusks with pink and coral sunsets, everything drinking and steaming and falling asleep. I’d stand in our front yard and watch the bats against the pink sky. Then count stars and lightning bugs. On the hottest nights, heat lightning flickered through the sky like a distant dying neon. Silent. A contained fury, uncontained somewhere, for someone.
I belonged to it.
We’ve had a rough year. There has been illness and poverty and lost friends. Scraping out a living and being thwarted at every turn. It has silenced me. And the silence builds and suffocates… I don’t know what I am when I’m not writing, or painting, or being successful at something. My successes are few and far between. And my energy is consumed by survival.
So I don’t know if I’ll be back this time. I’m considering closing the site down, as it seems rude to the public to have a blog you never update. I believe I’ve given Felicity a fair shot these last almost three years… Or maybe I just need time to get out of this slump. It’s not that I don’t have ideas, both for finishing existing projects, and beginning new ones; but I’m unable to speak. Life has gagged me.
Until next time…