The folks over at Food for Thought Friday asked this week: “What is sexy? Is it appearance, is it an attitude, or is it just some unfathomable quality that you see in someone?”
This is a question I’ve mulled over quite a bit throughout my life, as I never seem to find myself attracted to the ‘usual.’ In other words, what the media tells us is sexy in a man (and speaking of men here, though it applies both ways, my interest in that regard is pretty narrow) or even those men that my peers would fawn over.
But for all my mulling, I’m still not sure I know how to answer it. I’ve been attracted to the occasional ‘classically’ handsome men. (Think Robert Urich, or Tom Selleck, or, at this moment, Jeffrey Dean Morgan… ) But it is more an appreciation. I love to watch them. And also, as they age (I’m sure it would have been the case for Urich, as well) they get better. Give me Jesse Stone over Magnum P.I. any day.
When pulled into real life and those men I’ve been affected by and attracted to, none of them has a single physical attribute in common. Dark and swarthy or fair and bookish. Tall and skinny or short and plump. Clean-shaven, bearded, blue eyed or brown, deep baritones or no… Those who catch my interest and light my imagination seem to be those you would least expect.
On the other hand, they all share something in common in terms of personality. I’m attracted to thoughtfulness. The ability to speak well and intelligently. Open-mindedness and a willingness to explore. And perhaps top of my list is a sense of humor. Not silliness, but the ability to find humor in the shit of everyday life accompanied by a razor sharp wit. I’m also attracted to men who aren’t afraid to be vulnerable. That’s a very manly trait, if you ask me.
I’m very much attracted to age. I suppose that’s sort of a physical attribute. But there’s nothing sexier to me than a kind, generous, funny silver fox with an open mind and a burning passion for life. I can get behind that… or in front of it, over it, under it…
So what’s my answer to the question? Sexiness is a state of mind. It’s a meeting of minds. The clothes it’s wearing have little impact on the spark, if it’s there.
And as a side note; I also find sexy the man who in turn finds me sexy. So it feeds off one another, making it even more exciting. Perhaps that’s what is meant by it being the the eye of the beholder. We see what is reflected; we reflect what we see. When you find someone who does that for you, hold them tight. It’s a rare and wonderful thing.
Head on over and give your opinion on the nature of Sexy.