“You want too much.”
How is that possible, to want too much? I want what I want, I can’t help it or control it.
“You need to lower your expectations. Understand there is no one capable of fulfilling those needs. It isn’t their fault. It isn’t your fault. It is just one of those universal ‘is’ things.”
Bullshit. Bull. Shit.
“Or you can keep expecting, and be prepared to be battered. Live your life like a heart patient on the table, chest cracked, organ exposed where everyone can watch it beat and bleed.”
These can’t be my only choices. I could just be normal.
“That is normal. It’s how humanity survives, by lowering expectation.”
“Can you do it?”
No. Yes. I don’t know. What choice do I have?
“Are you afraid of feeling?”
Yes. It never feels good. It’s always raw. Deep. It always twists.
“You could always check out.”
But I might miss something better.
“Yes. But it’s quiet over there.”
I’d only fuck it up. End up a vegetable.
“You live in fear.”
“Take things at face value. Learn to live on the surface. Appreciate those on the surface with you, and understand they’re doing the best they can. Just like you. It’s all anyone can do. And if you must go spelunking, find someone you can tie in to, someone who will wait at the top and pull you back up when you tug the rope.”
“I’m here for you.”
Am I schizophrenic?
“No. Self-aware. You’ll be okay. Lower expectations and you’ll be fine.”
Yeah. I’ll be fine.