“How’ve you been?”

“Not great. It’s been a rough week. Is it okay to tell you that?”

“Of course.”

“No. You don’t really want to know. I can tell.”

“Of course I do.”

“You’re just saying that. No one wants to know how fucked up someone else is.”

“Shut up. Tell me why it was bad.”

“Did you just tell me to shut up?”

“I did.”

“Oh.”

“Spit it out.”

“I let the voices in. Let them convince me I’m not worth anyone’s time.”

“Hm.”

“I believe that. Like, why are you here? You must want something from me.”

“I suppose I do, yes.”

“What? A laugh? A dirty picture? A blow job?”

“Would you give me any of those things?”

“Probably.  Probably all of them.”

“Because you wanted to, or because I wanted them?”

“I like to make people happy.”

“Even if it doesn’t make you happy?”

“I don’t need to be happy.”

“You seem happy. All the time.”

“Yes.”

“But you’re not.”

“Not usually, no.”

“That’s sad.”

“That’s life.”

“Not for everyone. Why do you need everyone else to be happy?”

“Do you want a blow job?”

“Yes.”

“Are you hard right now? Do you want to feel my -”

“Why do you need everyone else to be happy? Why isn’t your happiness important to you?”

“I’m happy when others are happy.”

“So sucking my cock right now would make you happy.”

“…”

“Well?”

“It would.”

“Hm.”

“I hate it when you do that.”

“It means I’m thinking.”

“It means you’re judging.”

“It doesn’t. It means I’m considering what you’ve told me. Because what you say matters. At least to me.”

“No, it doesn’t. It only matters when you want something from me.”

“Hm.”

“Fuck you.”

“Are you angry now because I cut you off? Because I won’t let you please me right now?”

“I’m angry because what people think about me matters. And I wish it didn’t. And yeah. It makes me feel like shit when you cock block me.”

“But what I feel for you isn’t about sex.”

“Of course it is. It’s always about sex.”

“No. It isn’t. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

“So you’re saying, if I took sex off the table, you’d still be my friend?”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

“Bullshit.”

“Why did you have a bad week?”

“I didn’t. It was okay.”

“That’s a lie. You already told me you had a bad week. Did something happen?”

“Yes.”

“What? Tell me.”

“…”

“What brought the voices up? Something must have happened.”

“My heart got broken.”

“Who did that?”

“I think you know.”

15 thoughts on “1. Conversationally Speaking

    1. It forces the writer to develop character using nothing but voice – which, incidentally, is the only way we initially know one another in venues such as this. Not sure where it’s going, yet… 🙂 Thank you!

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