All That Stuff

We all go through stuff. You know the ‘stuff.’ Also known affectionately as shit. Patches. Funks. We all know what it is, and how it cripples the mind. Sometimes it’s helpful to the creative process, and sometimes it’s not.

I don’t get very personal here; ironic, considering this is a blog about the most personal stuff a person experiences, that of the erotic mind. Sex. Love. Pleasure. Desire. I’ve had other blogs where I did get personal, and did piss people off. That’s unfortunate, because it’s never my intention to cause discord. I’m a peace-loving creature by nature. I’d have done well in the 1960’s as a flower child, but I wasn’t born yet. Anyway, the things I’ve learned over my life is that most people don’t want to know about your particular brand of stuff. So keep it to yourself. But people really seem to like it when you listen to their stuff.

Where is the line?

I’m going through stuff right now. I’m fighting for every word I put down. I’m doubting my abilities as an artist. I’m wondering if I have anything valid to say, or am I simply in love with the sound of my own voice? What am I working toward with this blog, and if I were going to succeed, wouldn’t I be there by now? How many times does one fall down before they realize they weren’t meant to be walking, because we’re in the middle of the goddamn ocean, and you’re supposed to be swimming! Only, no one ever taught me to swim. All I know how to do is walk.

Where does a person accept defeat and choose a different path?

Or, conversely, how do you convince yourself that you’re on to something and the only way is through it, right through the fucking middle of it, because, hey, baby; no guts, no glory?

Material is sporadic right now, and I needed you, this handful of really special, important readers who have chosen to walk beside me down this meandering path, to know why.

I’m going through stuff. I hope to be back.

Love, Felicity

20 thoughts on “All That Stuff

  1. I had a down day onky a few days ago…

    it was only when another blogger/follower responded to me with is simple one word that I felt better:

    “hugs”.

    I do hope that you can feel that hon :).
    Love,
    Sioux

    When you let go, the real lesson can be learned. You are SO much like me, we beat ourselves up for things totally out of our control. I will pray for you. You will meditate and ask for guidance on the “stuff” you refer to.
    Please take your time, it’s ok. 🙂

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  2. Big hugs, Felicity. I know I don’t really know you but I think you are so very talented. Please don’t doubt yourself as an artist. Even this post showcases your talent for words. I enjoy everything you write and will be here when you get back. I know dark winters contribute to my funk sometimes and it’s been so cold here lately. I was just telling someone today that I didn’t feel like doing anything I usually love. So let’s just keep on walking and at some point we have to hit the sunshine. Right? 🙂

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  3. We all self-doubt. I think it’s when you start punishing yourself for the hiatus that you get into deep water. Take all the time you need to recuperate. Be kind to yourself, and do whatever to paddle through that puddle of stuff. I enjoy your writings, and will be here when there’s more to offer. Just take care of yourself. 🙂

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  4. Hope you aren’t thinking of going far away. I’ve just found your blog. And I really enjoy your writing. Please continue. But we all must realize that we can’t all be prolific writers. Everyone has periods of reflection where we aren’t putting something down on paper. We have to have periods of development as we structure and organize in our minds what we will write next. You write too well to stop completely. Keep at it, I’ll read ya when you are ready.

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  5. Stuff. Yep, how well do I know it. Me, too. A lot lately.

    I, for one, do not doubt your abilities as a writer. You dig deep and unearth gems, then shine them up for everyone else to see. So, yeah, you’re on to something, so keep plugging away at it.

    Meanwhile… stuff.

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  6. You are not alone; I think all bloggers go through this and wonder if they will ever surface and why they are doing it. You are so talented and inspirational – you should be proud of what you have created in this corner of the ‘sphere.

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  7. Felicity, I know exactly what you’re going through because all writers go through it. I recently wrote a post on writing and self-doubt and so many people said they could relate to it. Here’s the link in case you hadn’t seen it.

    http://wp.me/p5dBeF-or

    Look after yourself and this will pass.
    Tamsin

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  8. I understand your feelings, totally! But be assured that you have many, many fans and supporters here who do not share your doubts about your talent and skill as a writer. You will get through this phase honey, just keep on going. As Churchill said… If you’re gping through hell, keep going!
    Sending you hugs Feli! And much love x

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  9. Felicity, you have many readers and followers here. People don’t click these buttons for no reason, it means that all of us have spotted your talent. And it’s something that doesn’t go away and never comes back. Writers are susceptible to writer’s block but here we are – your readers ready to support you so that you can go through it, not to choose a completely different path. If you don’t feel like writing because of a lack of inspiration just take a break and run away for a while. It may or may not do you some good, but as long as you try the chances remain high that you will be here with us again writing passionately. 🙂

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  10. What I do when that happens is write about some inane subject. I have poems written about almost anything and that is why. It takes my focus away from what I want to write and instead just makes me write. Sometimes I write about not being able to write. I have a series called “My muse fell down the stairs” that is a humorous look at why my muse may have abandoned me. Hope that is helpful and good luck

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  11. I know this feeling all too well, especially now that it’s the dead of winter (where I live, anyway). So many of us go through this, but the important thing is to know that you will get through it. Use your way with words to guide you. You’re an artist, which means you’re lucky enough to have some amazing tools at your disposal. This post is a great start. You’re writing about your doubts and fears rather than keeping them bottled. It’s easy to look at what’s in front of you and compare it to what’s behind other people and think that it doesn’t measure up. I know it’s a cliche, but everyone has their own path. Maybe you’re not where you think you should be, but as long as you keep writing, keep creating, keep trusting in yourself and your ability to weave the intangible into something solid and affecting, you’ll eventually get there. It’s inertia. You’re at a standstill right now, but it won’t last forever. Just keep writing. One word at a time. One sentence, one poem, one story at a time. Eventually, it’ll all make sense again.

    You’re one of the most talented writers I’ve come across since I ventured into the blogosphere and I am constantly in awe of the work you put out. You have a way of shining light on the things that most people would rather keep buried. That takes courage. You are courageous.

    Take care of yourself. Dive deep. Rest. But keep writing. Even if you never share it. We’ll be here when you resurface.

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  12. You are not alone! The responses to this post alone are a testament to the love we have for you but that we share the same trials and tribulations.
    I put pen to paper and get nothing unless I draw doodles. Not very expressive and hardly the means to convey a thought.
    Take a break, do something new or you haven’t done for a long time. We will patiently be waiting your return.

    Liked by 1 person

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