Crushed

I readied for him. I couldn’t sleep that night, so I got up and cleaned the apartment from top to bottom. He’d been by once before, but just to drop something off, and had barely come in the front door. I set out candles, and as soon as it was light, I went shopping. I picked up new sheets, sexy, dark red ones, and a babydoll nightie… I suspected I wouldn’t be wearing it long. I bought a cheese tray and a bottle of wine. I didn’t know what time he’d be around, so I couldn’t really plan. And I didn’t think we’d be eating much anyway.

The day stretched out into mid afternoon. I was a wreck of excitement and nerves. I kept checking the computer for him, checking for texts, but he was silent. I wanted to reach out, but suddenly, I was too worried about being clingy. Maybe he was having second thoughts. Maybe the flush had worn off, and now that he’d had a taste, he was done.

I gave myself a mental shake and tried to gain perspective. That wasn’t Adam. What we had ran far deeper than sex. I knew it in my heart, but the broken part of my psyche, the part that had been trampled under too many bad relationships, whispered the negative thoughts, and I started to believe them.

Dusk fell. I opened the wine. I cried. I hated myself, for crying, for letting it matter, for believing him, for giving it away…

And then my phone buzzed.

The Rollercoaster

Peter

8 thoughts on “Crushed

  1. what’s the end?

    I mean to say – I don’t really like your end. It feels a bit as of trying to stay away from stating it. Letting it hang so to say loose.

    (I hope you don’t mind me saying – we don’t really know each other and I don’t know what kind of frenzy you run here ‘-) )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lol, it’s not an end, so much as a break… an ongoing life, an ongoing relationship and the ups and downs of it.

      There will be more very soon, as I continue with the story… Thank you for your kind comments Dhyan! I appreciate your reading šŸ™‚

      Like

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